Well, I wasn’t surprised when I read many of the early reviews for Valentine’s Day. They all said that the romantic comedy was predictable, groan-inducing, and way too sappy. My first thought to these reactions was, “Well, that’s exactly how the actual holiday is, so if anything, it truly is honoring the masochistic holiday.” Bravo. Then I thought about it a little bit more and realized I was very angry. Yet again, reviewers (ahem, bitter Lisa Schwartzbaum) panned a Romantic Comedy and left it with just a 16% approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes. This is getting ridiculous! It seems these days that you have to have the most painful sequences and make a drama to get a good review.

That’s just silly. Romantic Comedies remain the single most under appreciated and unfairly judged of all genres (you could make a good argument for Horror. Sci-Fi had a stand out year, so they are back on top). It seems that reviewers always want them to break into new territory. The thing is, many other movies that come out don’t break any new ground, but if they are dramatic, then they succeed in getting the approval. Take Up in the Air, for instance. This movie is being touted as a new classic, and it doesn’t really do anything new (Chicago Reader agrees). It is simply a commentary on what the nation is going through with the unemployment currently and Clooney’s performance is nothing to write home about. But it gets the marks because of its tone and timed release.

That being said I have to be honest and tell you that Valentine’s Day is a predicable Romantic Comedy. We have a pretty clear idea from the beginning about who is going to end up with who, and how these stories are going to play out. This film tries to do what Love Actually did much, much better. It does not interweave the stories of separate people together as seamlessly. In Valentine’s Day, we have about twelve main people, led by a surprisingly charming Ashton Kutcher, who are making their way through one of the most hated holidays in their separate situations. One is a teacher (Jennifer Garner) who is dating a philandering doctor (Patrick Dempsey), while another older married couple (Shirley MacLaine and Hector Elizondo) are working through a recently discovered secret. Jessica Biel also plays a publicist whose main client (Eric Dane) has to decide whether or not to retire from his NFL career, and Jamie Foxx plays the sportscaster who wants the interview. Needless to say, as these are just a few of the scenarios, Valentine’s Day does get more than a little crowded.

Performances that should be cut from the DVD release and never mentioned again are the small side story with Taylor Swift playing a ditz that is in love with her jock boyfriend (Taylor Lautner). Swift is horrendously grating in her “performance” and has absolutely no acting ability whatsoever. Her agent should be fired. We also could have done without Anne Hathaway playing a phone sex operator, a secret she is keeping from her boyfriend (Topher Grace). It is nice to see Grace again, though he doesn’t get to flex his comedic skills that he did so profoundly on “That 70s Show.” Hathaway is neither sexy nor funny, so this role was not suited for her in any capacity.

Biel does charm from time to time throughout the film (though she seriously needs to eat a sandwich. Or a donut). She never has had a very strong on-screen persona, and here she finally projects some personality through the humor. Ashton Kutcher gives a nice performance as a man who has just proposed to his hesitant girlfriend (Jessica Alba in a thankless role). He holds the film together with his portrayal of a man who really does believe in love and his kindness and giddiness shine through the whole film. Jennifer Garner as his best friend also gives a sweet, nuanced performance as she always does.I’d like to see Garner do something edgier next time. It would be cool to see her embrace her “Alias” roots and kick some ass. Although, she might still be distancing herself from the huge flop, Elektra.

This film doesn’t always work, and the storyline about the young boy (Bryce Robinson) trying to profess his love for his valentine falls flat and the Robinson eventually belongs in the company of Taylor Swift. But the film’s heart is in the right place and wants to make people smile and feel the love. It’s true it doesn’t break the mold, but should not be subjected to the kind of ruthless reviews it had garnered thus far.

There are many rumors that director Garry Marshall is gearing up for a sequel to follow a few of the characters on New Year’s Eve. Here’s a tip: take Ashton, Jennifer, Jessica (Biel), Jamie, and George Lopez; add in Sandra Bullock, Drew Barrymore, Ryan Reynolds, and Ryan Gosling, and give each couple enough screen time and story arc that makes the viewer invest in their happiness a bit more.

And, Garry, if Taylor wants to be in the sequel? Tell her she can serve the crew coffee. She always has that music thing to fall back on.

Filed under: Atrocious Acting, Comedy, Relationships, Romantic Comedy, Taking Critics to Task, silver screen by admin